Off The Rails

derailState Railways of Thailand (SRT or “Seldom Runs on Track” as it is affectionately known) have announced radical plans to halt the fall in derailments in Thailand.

Derailments in Thailand have been in decline recently and, with the tourism high-season approaching, SRT is responding to criticism that tourists may be disappointed by not experiencing at least one derailment during their holiday.

“We are ‘fast-tracking’ [sic] plans to introduce dual tracks in many regions. We expect to be able to double the numbers of derailments by this simple expedience.” explained SRT spokesthing Korporat Traynrek.

“Tourists love the death-defying-adventure aspect of riding trains in Thailand” said a randomly selected SexPat in the waiting room of a Silom STD-clinic, whom we interviewed on condition of apparent sobriety.

Tourism Authority of Thailand’s ‘Fungineer’, Sanuk Sanuksshon spoke to us on an all-expenses-paid junket to a B&B in Nakhon Nowhere – “If SRT derailments are no-longer viable as tourist attractions, we may be forced to build a roller-coaster in Thailand. I’m sure, with our engineering and maintenance  record, no one wants to see that…”

Meanwhile Thailand’s coaches and tour-buses are stepping into the breach to keep the world’s travel insurers on the edge of their seats.