OMG They Killed Kenney!

kenneyTDN has received exclusive rumours that leading Bangkok socialite and arms dealer, US Ambassador Kristie Kenney, is to be reassigned after one selfie too many.

US State Department sources report that Kenney used an unauthorized, non-US-standard selfie-stick while out on a drunken noodle-crawl recently.

A cleaner in the Pentagon, who spoke to us on condition of anonymity, told us “Selfie sticks can be extremely dangerous, to the camera and to the safety and dignity of the user.”

The US Center [sic] for Disease Control and Panic is currently examining the issue of selfies in the US and is widely expected to request the Food and Drug Administration ban them as narcotics. Overseas, selfies and the use of non-US-approved selfie-sticks can only be regulated by US employers and the US Department of Trade is encouraging State to crack down on the use by diplomatic (and un-diplomatic) staff of selfie-sticks that do not carry a “Made in the USA” sticker applied over the “Made in China sticker”.

Kenney, who also posted pictures of her noodles online, is also believed to be the subject of a Thai lawsuit brought by blogger notRichard Barrow (@Not_Rich_Barrow) who owns the copyright to all noodle photographs taken in Thailand.

A recently sacked high-level US Secret Service member told us “The President thinks it best she be moved on, Thai authorities take offences against Mr Barrow very seriously”

When approached directly by TDN, Kenney said “Do you want to take my picture..?”