Thailand’s premier educational establishment, MahiThammaKorn University, is to introduce the country’s first Coup Studies course in their new Faculty of Proper Democracy.
Head of Faculty, Professor Field-Marshal Somchai ‘Soapy’ Laangsamaawng, thinks it’s high time Thailand’s advanced democratic systems were part of a formal curriculum that would aid their adoption by the rest of the world. In his opening address, Prof.F.M. Laangsamaawng stated “We welcome foreign-devil students from Europe, the USA and even – after a shower – India, who wish to bring Thai democratic enlightenment to their own backward countries.”
“We have unsurpassed experience in coups – or ‘extra-electoral adjustments’ as they are more properly called -” ‘Old Soapy’ continued, “as well as in drafting, re-drafting, writing, re-writing, un-writing, editing, changing, ignoring and nullifying a wide range of constitutions. The USA has had only one constitution for nearly two hundred and forty years; we’ve had dozens in a third of that time. Tell me then, who has more experience in constitutionation?”
The course in Coup Studies will consist of modules including:
101) Bullets or Ballots – A Live-Fire Exercise.
102) How Many Generals Does It Take to Change a Government?
103) One Man, One Vote – Who Should That Man Be?
104) Persuading the Masses – Lethal and Not-Entirely-Lethal approaches.
105) Concentration Camps – Good or Very Good?
106) The Role of Lynchings in Modern Democratic Discourse.
107) Why International Law is a Waste of Thailand’s Time.
Students enrolling on the course will be expected to follow a dress-code of smart-battlefield-casual – riot gear optional. The 12 values will be recited at the beginning of each hour and each class will elect a leader who will be shot. Students will be encouraged to think critically about the challenges facing Thailand, and then shot.
At the end of the course,
survivors graduates will be able to obtain their degree certificates from campus vending machines that accept cash, credit cards and 7-11 stamps.