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Ebola Panic Syndrome – Thailand to the Rescue

Ebola3Doctors at SillyRat Hospital in Bangkok have announced that they may have found a therapy that could lead to a cure for the Ebola virus.

Professor Wottawirus announced in a glittering, star-studded press conference on Thursday that a Thai team have been working with photographs of the deadly Ebola virus and have discovered that simply shredding pictures of the Ebola virus renders them completely harmless.

Previously, numerous newspaper articles about Ebola had been identified as the source of many Ebola-like symptoms including nausea, headaches, muscle pain and fever. However, since shredding the articles not a single member of the Professor’s team has shown any of these symptoms.

“It is a great step forward for Thai science and the fight against EPS (Ebola Panic Syndrome)” said a random Farang drinking outside a Nana 7-11 this morning.

It is believed that people can also significantly reduce their risks of developing Ebola-like symptoms by simply turning off their televisions, but this revolutionary treatment will require further testing in Farangs before it can be safely trialled on Thais.

Prof. Wottawirus told TDN “We believe we can accelerate the approval process for ECT (Ebola Censorship Therapy) – in which we establish it’s safety to the Thai population – by first getting the Ministry Of Information Technology to block any websites mentioning Ebola.”

“It’s only a matter of time before we can develop this treatment for EPS into a cure for the actual virus.” concluded the Professor.

Professor Wottawirus is a former winner of the prestigious World Health Organization Prize for Medical Malpractice & Fraud