Thailand’s F1 Hopes Dashed

Thailand's first F1 car has some post-design issues.
Thailand’s first F1 car has some post-design issues.

Thailand’s first Formula One racing team has had a disappointing first day of testing.

Team principle of Yellow Kwai Racing, Gohphasta Sutrype, told us “The car just isn’t fast enough and we have no idea why. Something happened between the wind tunnel and the first run, right after the blessing.”

Engine builders, Phutt-Phutt Industries, have rejected suggestions their power plant may not be up to the task, “We provide engines to some of the fastest vehicles on the planet – tuk-tuks and longtail boats. Just last week  we caught three spies from Mercedes in our plant trying to steal our technology.”

In fact on the first outing the car was lapped by a tuk-tuk that got lost trying to find a local gem store.

Experts have pointed the finger at the car mysteriously gaining 150kg after a special pre-test blessing at Wat Dhammanblasthit.

Somchai Phigginapowk from the Ministry of Hubs explained what the government is doing to help the situation. “We are in negotiation with the FIA – the sport’s governing body – to change the regulations and bring the rest of the teams into line with Thai design needs. The problem is the sport as a whole simply lacks… Thainess.”

F1-supremo Bernie Ecclestone was trapped inside a revolving door  and unavailable for comment.