World Thai Food Standards to be Enforced


A postgraduate janitor at Chiang Mai’s Al-Tsaimeur University has spent an entire weekend designing a Thai food testing robot after watching the movie Automata.

Speaking to us through a specialized Nerd-terpreter, Professor Buggbot Moppenbukkhitt told us, “Although the movie was truly f**king awful and made me want to vomit through my eyes, the idea of a robotic cockroach instantly appealed to me.”

“Millions of Thai restaurants already have cockroaches tasting their food, we just need to standardize the roaches with technology and get them to report back to central authorities such as the National Noodle Command or the Strategic Rice Operations Centre.”

With an appropriate nuclear power-pack, the so-called ‘Cook-Roaches’ could roam the world checking Thai food standards across the globe. Junta Spokesthing Wing-Midshipman Maotpeet briefed the press on the security potential “The NCPO (National Council for Pizza Orders) sees the potential to expand [the Cook-Roaches] remit to enforce Dear Uncle’s Twelve Commandments world-wide as well.”

When we asked if there was a risk the robots could transmit Ebola, Professor Buggbot  replied, “Don’t be silly, robots don’t get Ebola.”