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More Murder in Thailand

geckogateA respected Thai twitterist known only as @Thai_Talk made an emotional confession earlier today – to MURDER!

Although the ‘perp’ insists it was accidental, or gecko-slaughter, migrant-jingjok-rights campaigners were quick to point out that this kind of thing happens all too frequently in Thailand – also known as LOS or Land of Slaughter.

The original confession occured at 10:05AM – a time when most under-age jingjoks should be safely tucked up in bed.

Thai police said the use of emojis in the confession will be taken into account by the courts. Later retractions of the confession are entirely normal and can be ignored.

The killer later tried to suggest that the victim actually comitted suicide – a claim that made even the Thai police blanche.

Tweeter-rights campaigner @FreeMindTH  tweeted “Actually, we should mention that this is geckoslaughter, as the suspect said it was involuntary…”

A video-still said to be from a 7-11 security camera stolen by @jockywilson10 suggests a tokay was in the vicinity at the time of the crime. The tokay mafia is a powerful influence in the Bangkok reptile scene and speculation is rife that the jingjok may have been a confidential informant for the Twitterist. Thai Police are reluctant to pursue tokays as they are ‘scary’.

Was the jingjok pushed? We may never know.

Controversy further developed when a government spokesperson suggested that the jingjok was naked at the time of its death, not even wearing a bikini. The victim’s mobile phone has not yet been found.

The Tourism Authority of Thailand has insisted that, like all the others, this is a one-off incident and Thailand is safe for jingjoks to visit. However, the Lizardland Foreign Office increased its warning level for Thailnd to “F*cking Lethal”

Apple Inc. have released a statement saying that the iPad involved did not bend during the incident but geckocide is not covered by AppleCare.

Currently @Thai_Talk is being held on suicide-watch – a form of protective custody in a small room used to store nothing but a few ropes, knives and guns.

Meanwhile a team from Siriraj Hospital, Bangkok, called a press conference to announce that they expect the dead jingjok to make a full recovery.