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BROKEN NEWS After years of hard work #Thailand finally declares it is self-sufficient in plastic waste. #NetExporter twitter.com/ThaiPBSWorld/s…

About 3 weeks ago from The Durian Nation's Twitter via TweetDeck · reply · retweet · favourite

 

Ban on Whitening Cream Abandoned

white

An attempt by the Junta to ban the sale and use of skin-whitening products has been quietly dropped after being even more quietly raised.

Thailand’s Committee on Cultural Cohesion – Under Prayuth (COCC-UP) have denied reports that they were planning to ban skin-whitening products as being un-Thai, but dropped the scheme after pressure from the ‘celebrity’ industry.

Junta Medical Chief, Major Professor Doctor Wassamattayoo, at first fielded a global ban on skin whitening products. When the United Nations failed to comply, Wassamattayoo limited the scope of the proposed ban to Thailand. “White skin is not compatible with ‘Thainess’, especially amongst the peasant classes.” Wassamattayoo pronounced at an international conference on Thainess held in Scotland recently. He later denied using the term ‘peasant’, claiming the media had mis-heard his use of the phrase ‘sufficiency-practitioner’.

However, many influential people and organizations in Thailand objected to the ban as it may inconvenience them both financially and cosmetically.

A large-scale protest – technically illegal under martial law – was held in the queue outside Siam Paragon’s Louis Vuitton store. Despite the number of protesters being estimated as ‘several’, police did not attempt to break it up for fear of violence spreading to their command centre at the nearby Krispy Kreme store.

One protester, identified only as ‘Mia Noi’, wailed, “How can it be Thai to force people to look like Cambodian field-hands?”

Perhaps the final nail in the ban’s coffin was the announcement by Channel-69 News that if the ban were to be imposed they would have to fire all of their on-screen news staff, including several ‘nieces’ of the Junta’s Minister of Media ‘Affairs’.

Consideration of a partial lifting of the ban for people above a certain income-level was rejected as it would “…just encourage ‘sufficiency-practitioners’ to steal from their betters” said Junta spokesthing Air Vice-Marshal Maotpeet.

So it seems the white-faced ghouls who read our television news are here to stay.

In other news, season 5 of  “The Walking Dead” returns to AMC on Sunday.